umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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