tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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