If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
