I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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