ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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