throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
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As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
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Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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