so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
