maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
