OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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