I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
