I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Blood and glitter go together right?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Randomize
