and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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