The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
