Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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