Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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