i permit you to call me
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Randomize
