On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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