I like my sex mixed with concussions.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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