Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize