just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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