i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
And then he peed in my hair
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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