She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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