i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
