I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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