You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I need moral support for this bender
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
