So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
