WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
