My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
