fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
