My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Boobs speak an international language.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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