You were right. It hurts to walk today.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
