...so i touched it.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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