oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
you made out with another girl for some wings
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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