Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
And the cops told us we were all naked.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Randomize
