oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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