There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
