They should really pass out barf bags in church
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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