I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
