Betty ford says i'm here all night
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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