I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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