R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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