And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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