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When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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