I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Nobody cheats on THIS.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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