Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
