I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
