Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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