Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
