I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Randomize