I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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