if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
