either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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