I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
he shaved USA in his pubs
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
