I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
