i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
