I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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