i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking