in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies