There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men