I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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