Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
