And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
