You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
